To discern whether to make amends, ask yourself why you’re wanting to contact the person. For example, if you had an affair for three years during active addiction, visiting your ex to fess up and say you’re sorry isn’t going to help them; it’s going to hurt them. Are you taking the step to clear your conscience at the expense of another person?

The AA Amends Script: Troubleshooting and Tips

living amends aa

We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding. However, these promises are usually the result of deep feelings of shame, guilt, and regret and may not be genuine for some. Many times, these kinds of promises serve to alleviate the wrongdoer’s guilt and so that they can say they apologized before their loved one died. With these kinds of promises, there may not be enough genuine intention of changing their hurtful patterns and behaviors.

Understanding Outcomes

From the steps leading up to nine, recovering alcoholics begin to develop tools to handle stressful situations without liquor and believe in a Higher Power greater than themselves. In sum, when recovering alcoholics reach step nine, they are completely connected to their Higher Power. The steps ensure that those in recovery feel supported, safe, and secure in making the next step to freedom from addiction. In the best case, your AA (or NA) amends script is a living document suggesting a promise to repair relationships continually. This ongoing nature of making amends can lead to self-healing by alleviating the stress tied to previous behaviors, potentially averting relapse.

living amends aa

You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books:

living amends aa

How blessed we are to become free from our past, and given the gift to help free another. I tend to hide the memory of past transgressions under the ever-handy umbrella of “Didn’t do it if I don’t remember”. Since I spent years in a boozy haze all sorts of hurts were ignored. Making amends may seem like a bitter pill to swallow, but for those serious about recovery, it can be good medicine for the spirit and the soul. If there are any concerns about content we have published, please reach out to us at The goal in making amends is “to freely admit the damage we’ve done and make our apologies,” according to The Big Book.

Steps for Making Living Amends

Although it sounds lofty, there are realistic, achievable ways to implement examples of making amends. Although recovery in general must be done selfishly (i.e. you must put yourself before others in order to get well), Step Nine is the most selfless of all steps. It’s the point where we acknowledge that our behaviors damage others beyond ourselves. But to rectify this damage, we can’t maintain the same “me first” attitude that many of the other steps require.

The Role of Step 9 of the Twelve Steps

More general quotes regarding the process can still be helpful, like, “I don’t want to just say I am sorry, I want to show in my actions I am truly making amends”. Bear in mind, you’re not alone while navigating the process of making amends. Many have walked this path before, and their wisdom can provide valuable guidance. living amends Everyday AA slogans like ‘taking it easy,’ ‘progress rather than perfection,’ and ‘live and let live’ can all be helpful reminders that apply when making amends too. Reflecting on previous attempts at making amends can provide valuable insights and learning opportunities for more effective amends in the future.

Incarcerated men give back to community – Inside CDCR – CDCR

Incarcerated men give back to community – Inside CDCR.

Posted: Tue, 16 Jun 2020 07:00:00 GMT [source]

Slogans, Quotes, and Sayings to Support Making Amends

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